Zam's Dirty Pillows

Overheard on AIM:

Zam: I've gotta tell ya
PDawg: Tell me
Zam: I couldn't wear a normal bra with that stupid bridesmaid dress I had to wear because it was backless.
Zam: I had to get one of the stick-on bras. You know the ones that you just tape to yourself?
PDawg: Yup.
Zam: Ok! Good! Well, it was a three-woman operation to get my GIANT left boob into that freakin' thing!
PDawg: (you could have gone free-boobin'...)
PDawg: lol
Zam: (heck no!)
Zam: It took me, my mom, and my niece to get that thing tucked in there.
PDawg: oh my...
Zam: And my mom kept going, "Where the hell did this ONE big boob come from? You didn't get that from me!"
PDawg: lol
PDawg: Ol' Loppy
Zam: You ain't kiddin'
PDawg: How do you keep from appearing like Quasimodo of the Breast?
Zam: HAHAHAHA!
Zam: I have no idea. I can't buy a bra that fits me right.
Zam: There is an entire cup size difference.
PDawg: You're weird.
PDawg: That's a lotta boob that's unaccounted for.
Zam: Tell me!
PDawg: Hey, I could come and punch you in the small boob a few times in the hopes that it might swell....
Zam: Funny!
Zam: *slap*
Zam: Ok. Enough about my Quasimodo Titty...
PDawg: Titti-modo
Zam: LOL!
Zam: I'll run into Victoria's Secret and yell: SANCTUARY!
PDawg: LOL!!!
PDawg: Maybe you should start calling your boob "Merrick"
PDawg: like The Elephant Man...

How we haven't died from late night fits of laughter yet is a mystery to me.